19th jan 2010

I do not know what should i name my post…….

Thought of many like : What a day it has been ! or staying awake….

Staying awake means staying awake spritually…..it is so easy to fall back to my own bad habits..especially so when i am in school. Teachers giving homework and tutorials….everyone complains……even my friend said: Who the hell won’t complain? I also complained…..its just so easy. Making negative comments on others is also another bad habit which i am doing.

Although deep inside, i know i should not complain or made unnecessary comments on others. I still did it….i am powerless in trying to change myself for the better. When i fall back to my old habits…( trying not to) is like finding myself in a maze….and taking a long time to get out. I need God…

Recently i have been super busy with school activities. Monday: tutorial Tuesday: CCA Wednesday: tutorials Thursday: Tutorials and Friday: CCA. Nights were spent doing homework and doing other stuff instead of spending quiet time with Him.

It took me a while to realise how important quiet time is. Without it…..it is easy to fall back into old habits and not be contented at all. I will try to take some time off to do quiet time.

There are 10 trespasses listed out in Leviticus 5-6: (1) Concealing truth when it is demanded in the course of justice. (2) Indulging in any practice that defi les the soul and damages the spirit. (3) Breaking promises and contracts. (4) Dishonesty toward God in holy, spiritual things. (5) Ignoring and disobeying God’s
commandments. (6) Failing to safeguard what is entrusted to you. (7) Unfairness in partnership. (8) Taking what is not yours through violence. (9) Lying and deceiving. (10) Keeping that which doesn’t belong to you

( this was an article by Pastor Kong Hee) The 10 trepasses showed the sinful acts of humans.

Today i went for CCA…….taught the sec 2s certain exercises. Very tiring ….teaching is very tiring. Right now there is no instructer….my peers and i have to do the teaching. I must eat lunch next time.

2010……closer intimacy with God

Today is the second day of 2010…….I just cannot believe that a new year has begun.

Time really passes very fast…in 2 days time…..school will reopen…

I will be a secondary 4 student.

Although i have no idea what kind of challenges i may face this year. I will not be afraid for God will be there, guiding me every single step of the way. I found many inspiring words in the bible that really just make me happy and grateful.

Christ Jesus is real…..seriously. I never doubted him…..nor i will in the future.

No words can describle how i feel knowing that He is with me…just as He is with all his followers.:)

Psalm 27:

The Lord is my light and my salvation-so why should i be afraid?  The Lord is my fortress,protecting me from danger, so why should i tremble? When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if i am attacked, i will remain confident.

The one thing i ask of the Lord-the one thing i seek most-is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple. For he will conceal me there  when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock.Then i will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At this sanctuary i will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy, singing and praising the Lord with music.

Hear me as i pray, O Lord. Be merciful and answer me! ,y heart as heard you say.”Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds,”Lord,i am coming.” Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Dont’t leave me now;don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation! Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.

Teach me how to live, O Lord. Lead me along the right path, for my enemies are waiting for me. Do not let  me fall into their hand. For they accuse me of things i’ve never done; with every breath they threaten me with violence. Yet i am confident i will see the Lord’s goodness while i am here in the land in the land in the living.

Wait patiently for the Lord.Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.

Amen:D  I will not be shaken for He is right beside me

Life journey

Every single day i woke up feeling happy and go to sleep thanking God.

I did not have any problems at all…..feeling very relaxed..

I know for sure that life is not a bed of roses and am trying to prepare myself mentally for the next challenge that i will face.

It seems that the best way to prepare myself is to go through it..and emerge  stronger.

Today my sister and auntie have a big quarrel…….i was not involved in it. Right after that my mum called…..at the wrong time…..cannot blame her. I picked up the phone and  my mum asked what happened as she sense something was wrong…..

I replied ‘nothing’ and then my auntie turned to me and said,’you send the message’ I was like huh? totally clueless..  then she came and said that i send a message telling to my mum about their argument.  My mum and auntie are on bad terms. I was totally shocked by her accusation…….then the argument started. It ended on a bad note.

I was very upset when she said things like ‘you cant expect people to think good things about you’  I reacted by questioning her judgement and even her character……i was wrong………

When she said hurtful things like that……i felt totally useless……

These past few months…..i have been behaving myself….trying not to get into trouble…help her whenever i can…..control my emotions…….and she just said it without a second thought.

She is one of the people in my life whom i look up to……

She may not know……..but i care about what she thinks about me….

No matter how many arguments she and i had in the past………i still care.

In the past i used to dislike her for her stubborn and rigid character….that is because i was immature.

But now i understand her more……..

With the addition of ivan..my baby bro………i actually thought that all arguments would cease……but i was wrong

I fail this time around…….by reacting

I am going to improve myself again……..

I do not know how the next few days would go………but i leave it to God.

I want to celebrate my birthday with pure joy

be content

 

Every morning, at the first opportunity ……i will read the newspapers…getting myself updated with the latest news. Never ever had i read a newspaper without stories of killings, scam and political scandals. Without these stories………would the newspapers be interesting….i wonder.

Defintely the word ‘contentment’ is not in the minds of people involved in all these bad stuff. In order to acheive their aims, they will do anything to get it. Greedy………

I believe greed is not something big ……….greed starts creeping in slowly through wanting small things like the latest gadgets and games . The person will not feel happy if he/she never get it.

Its that small feeling that ends up destroying people’s lives.

God created humans to stay together and not kill each other….

I wonder how God feels up there knowing that these evil things occured everday

Letting myself go…….

Letting myself go ……………………….to GOD!

I believe this is the  best decision i have made in my entire life. I have to make this decision daily …….every single day, every single moment of my whole life. There are times when i really tried to be in control of everything…..instead of placing my faith in God.

As i am just like everybody else…….a ordinary human being….

As human beings..from young…….we were taught to learn how to control…things that we can.. So its hard to just leave everything to God….

Of course when i said that….i did not mean that people can just dump away their responsiblities and just wait for God to take action. If that is the case……God wont even make a single step.

Let God take charge of my life……..

Obey God…….no matter how bad the situation is……That is the best thing i can do.

God will always be there for everyone no matter what happens.

Got to wait out the storm before i can see the rainbow:D

hello?

It s seems pretty weird that i am back here again …

School Holidays have already begun……….

Time for students like us to enjoy , unwind and get crazy….

Especially so for me…before taking O-Level next year.

I just cannot believe that i will be a secondary 4 student next year. Time just passes too fast………and in a month’s time …..i will turn 15!

Right now im busy involved in my CCA for prepartion of School Open House

God is amazing

Well i did not blog for weeks thanks to my sudden addiction of games in facebook..haha

SA2 is over since last week…and from then on i was basically slacking and resting.

God is so amazing……i have seen it these past few days.

Initally after the examination….i was a bit unhappy for my english and physics papers. I was worried especially since i set high standards for myself. I was not happy …..

But God is wonderful. I never expected myself to do better and when i received my results….i was happy and contented.

Here it goes:

English: 66 B3

Chinese paper 1: 52/70 Paper 2: 38/70 (not sure overall)

Maths: 58/100

Science: 130/200..B3 but not sure overall

POA:92 A1

History: 77 A1

Combined Humanities: A1

Social studies: 40/50

Literature: 33/50

Seriously sometimes i wonder.why is God so good to me?

Just me

Back to blogging again…wee

Today was not one of the most awesome days in my life. Thanks to a pain dwelling in my stomach from the start of school till now. I have no idea what causes it but defintely its not comfortable. I just pray that God remove it. Examinations are coming and to be frank..i am still trying to become more serious and focused especially after holidays. Right now i have two goals in mind.

My first goal is to pass all my subjects(basic standard) Usually i will be aiming higher. But right now i got to be more realistic as i know that some of my subjects are not improving. Maths and chinese. For maths, my teacher is not back until next week . Currently i understand all the topics but i need more practise ! For chinese, i am not learning. Yes, i have to admit that i was not  really paying attention to what the teacher is saying. I just simply do not understand her ways of teaching. She practially give us homework on topics that we have not learn and want us to try. Then, she will go through the answers in class. I just could not adapt to it. i will defintely work extra harder.

My second goal: To be like Jesus.

To me its not a goal, its more of a commitment that will last me forever and ever. Even though right now i should be enjoying like crazy like my peers do. But i am have a totally different mindset. Sometimes i question myself: Am i too forward-looking? Its good to be forward-looking. Through times of trials, i know that i will emerge stronger and better. This is what that drives me on every single day of my life.

Gonna stop here.

I have a best friend

I have a best friend…. this friend is so good to me. This friend understand me so well until he will know what i am going to say be fore i even say it. He comforts me when i am down and cheer me up. I could talk to this friend anytime in any place. He is a good listener. This friend cannot be replaced. He treats everyone the same. You wanna know his name..His name is Jesus.

Well well well…

Back to now..im currently de-stressing. School is a place full of temptations. Its hard to resist…and i have give in to some. I just wanna thank God for forgiving me. School is like a battle field and when will it ever end?? But i thank God for giving me strength. Right now all i wanna do is to finish my studies in a positive light. Though there are times when i feel like giving up….i am aware that someone is still there….watching over me..thank you God.

Sept holidays

Yes! Holidays have arrived. Although it lasts for a week, i still appreciate it. Need to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the end of year examinations. I had gotten back my results for CA2 and this is how it goes:

English:b4

Chinese: c5

Maths:D7

Science:A1

Combined humanes:A1

History:b4

POA:A1

I failed my maths. I guess i did not practise enough. I am going to work harder and smarter.

Right now i dont have the mood to write a lot ..so bb